Twisted songs al la Naruto
by DoubleDreaming
Summary: Here favrorite and popular songs are twisted just for your entertainment! Everyone plays a part, so come one and all to a place where normal does not exist.
1. Intro

**Dreaming walks onstage with megaphone. Clears throat. And throws brick from unknown place at the 'stage manager' –sleeping friend who shares account, but is never on- and waits for spotlight. **

**HELLO AND WELCOME TO………**

-What the Hell is this thing called now?-

-_Inaudible whispers_-

-Really?-

**TWISTEDSONGS. COM. NARUTO!**

-Huh? Who came up with that stupid idea?-

**I'LL NAME IT LATER!!**

**HERE YOU WILL SEE US TWIST AND MAIM**

**FAVORITE SONGS, PLAYS, MUSICALS AND SO ON**

**TO FIT YOUR READING PLEASURE!**

**NOW TO START OUR GRAND OPENING!**

**THE ACT THAT WAS AT THE TOP OF THE UTUBE CHARTS!**

**THE HARRY POTTER PUPPET PALS AND…**

**THE MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE!! **

**-**What do you mean the bomb went off already!-

-_Inaudible whispers-_

-Really?-

-_More whispers- _

**-**Okay,-

-_Whispers-_

-CLEAN UP ON ISLE THREE!-

**WELL THAT SUCKS. DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES - Snorts- **

**ON WITH THE SHOW!!**

**-HEY, IF YOU WANT TO BE STAGE MANAGER, YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE!-**

**OKAY UNTILL WE SWITCH TO THE FIRST SHOW I HAVE THE SINGLE DISCLAIMER THAT APPLISE TO **

_**EVERYTHING **_

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

**And if anyone has any song choices were open for suggestions. But a few rules.**

**1) keep the swearing to a minimum **

**2) I don't do sexual acts, I edit those out.**

**3) It can't be super long, seeing as I twist the words.**

**4) But over all keep it decent. **


	2. opening act! song one

**Dreaming: picks up megaphone and tones down volume: okay here's the **

**First act preformed by –**looks at list in hand­ –** Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto and**

**Possibly our first guest appearance! if they show!**

**AN: If you get the timing right this can be sung to the tune! Try it. **

**_KEY_**

_Our performers_

_Singing:_

_**Tsunade **_

Naruto

_**Jiraiya**_

Actions by singers/others

**Jeremiah was a bullfrog – Naruto Remix **

Jiraiya was a horn-dog, he was a sensei of mine.

_**I never understood a thing he did but I helped him drink his whine.**_

_**-He always had some mighty fine wine.-**_

**_Sing it, joy to the world…all the pretty girls now!_**

Joy to the noodles in the ramen broth.

And I'm gonna beat Teme.

_**If I were Hokage of Konoha, I know what I would do.**_

_**I'd throw away the paper work, ditch Tsunade at a bar**_

_**And I'd make MPHPHHP **_–Tsunade covers mouth and laughs nervously-

_**Sing it now, Joy to sake, the tastes and colors, joy to the rice in the planting fields.**_

_**Joy to drinking buddies**_

Ya know he loves the ladies…he calls it research…I'm clone making, ramen eating Naruto…a jailor to Kyuubi no Kitstune,

I said a jailor to Kyuubi no Kitstune.

Joy to the noodles in the ramen broth,

I am planning to beat Teme!

I think Jiraiya has gone to peep at the bath house.

_**Joy to the Sake, the tastes and colors, joy to the rice in the planting fields.**_

_**Joy to drinking buddies!**_

_**Joy to the wide gaps in the fence, perfect for my research.**_

**Ero- sensei the pervert**

_**Joy to low public bathhouse security **_

_**Shizune where's my Sake!**_

_**Dammit Where is my Sake!**_

_**It's way to early.**_

**OKAY SO THAT WRAPS UP THIS REMIX! HOPE TO SEE YOU GUYS SOON, BUT FIRST A SPECIAL TREAT!**

**TO END IT OFF SLIPKNOT!**

_**-**Inaudible whispers-_

_-_What do you mean eaten by zombies?-

-_Whispers-_

-The. Resident. Evil Soundtrack. wasn't that like five years ago?-

-_more whispers-_

-Fine, i'll book the bands myself!-

**THANKS TO MORE TECHNICAL DIFICULTIES CAUSED BY -GLARES- ZOMBIES. SLIPKNOT WILL NOT BE HERE.**

**OH WELL, NEXT TIME I MIGHT HAVE GAY AND BEE PREFORMING THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING!**

_-Whispers-_

**MY BAD! WE WILL HAVE _GAI AND LEE!_**

-Aren't they the dudes in the spandex-

_-whispers-_

-i'm booking the acts from now on.-

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR ACTS OR BANDS, PM ME!**

**(There might just be a hoiday special inbetween actua updates! check and see, It's due by Friday!)**

**RULES ARE ON THE INTRO!**

**JA DREAMING!**


	3. Second act! song two

Dreaming: picks up megaphone and tones down volume: okay here's the

**Dreaming: picks up megaphone and tones down volume: okay here's the **

**Second act preformed by –**looks at list in hand­ –**Gai, Lee and possibly Kakashi if he gets his face out of his smut.**

**turns out 'The pirates who don't do anything' is not for them -**shutters at memory- **So i've got another song for you!**

**Then if things go bad I have Neji and Ten-Ten ready to help**

**Like all the songs if you get the timing right you can sing it too! **

–**looks at Gai and Lee in green **_spandex_**bunny suits-**

**But if your going to act like them I will have to ask you to leave, my acts got scared off thanks to these two.**

**KEY (for this part)**

**Our performers**

**Singing:**

_**Kakashi **_

**Lee**

_**Gai**_

Actions by singers/others

_**Now kids, we're gonna sing YOUTHFULY along with one of my youthful favorites.**_

_**The Bunny Song!**_

_**All right Gai, you've got my attention. When do we start?**_

**But Kakashi, were not suppose to sing that version, it is very unyouthful.**

_**CORRECT LEE! My youthful student! -**_Creepy sunset thing until Dreaming throws brick.

_**We are singing the NEW AND IMPROVED VERSION**_

_**I'm out. -**_ Kakashi leaves** (1)**

**The Bunny Song- the IMPROVED bunny song – Naruto Remix**

_**The Bunny**_

_**The Bunny**_

_**Whoa I ate the bunny.**_

_**I didn't eat my soup or my bread just the bunny.**_

**But sensei **

**Why would you?**

**Isn't that incredibly unyouthful? **

---------------------------------------

LEE!

GAI-SENSEI!

-creepy sunset thingy that won't stop even thought dreaming throws cinderblocks-

(dreaming brings out Megaphone on HIGH)

**STOP! STOP! STOP!**

**LOOK IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!**

**TEN-TEN, NEJI, IF YOUR UP FOR IT GO AHEAD, BUT I'M GETTING KIND OF FREAKED OUT.**

**THAT, AND KAKASHI DROPPED OFF TEAM 7 SO HE CAOULD GO BUY MORE SMUT!**

**(turns down volume)**

**Okay now that that's done with, it looks like I might have to cut this one a little short or…**

**-looks at Gai and Lee still hugging-**

**make this our Halloween special.**

**-sighs-**

**Sorry guys looks like I'm-**

OH! OH! OH! I'll do it! I'll do It!

**-Dreaming looks over and Sees Naruto being held back by Sai and Sakura**-

**you really want to do it?**

**Sure. Start the music!**

**KEY (for this part)**

**Our performers**

**Singing:**

**Sai**

Naruto

_**Sakura**_

_**Kakashi**_

Actions by singers/others

_**Are you really going to do this?**_

No. –Dreaming arches eyebrow 'this should be good.'

WERE going to do this!

**Ugly, what's wrong? Dickless will just sing himself into a coma.**

_**No, he will sing us into a coma.**_

Come on guys. this will be fun!

**Ladies and gentlemen, and Ugly and Dickless, on with the show! **– fake smiles-

**The Bunny Song- the IMPROVED bunny song – Naruto Remix**

My Ramen

My Ramen

Oh, I love my Ramen

Didn't eat my veggies or my protein

Just my Ramen!

_**His Ramen?**_

My Ramen!

Oh, I love my Ramen!

_**But now I think he's sick in the head from the Ramen.**_

I didn't eat my salad

**He didn't eat his steak! –**Sai has mouth full of meat.-

**_He had to much Ramen and _I **_**got a tummy-ache** _

I need to eat Ramen to help me grow

But I'll obey Tsunade because she can hit hard

I go on missions

And I'm way past school!

That stuff's important

**But he is still a fool!**

_**I don't want no hackles **_

_**I don't want no money **_

_**All I want is a plate and a bucket of bunnies! –**_Kakashi singing song printed in smut.

_**Ew! Kakashi!**_

_**No that's wrong! -**_ pounds Kakashi in the head, hard.

**I thing he's learned his lesson**

Oh! I got a tummy-ache!

_**Now you stop eating that!**_

_**NARUTO!**_

_**Oh no.**_

My Ramen

My Ramen

Whoa I ate my Ramen

**He didn't eat his salad or steak-**Sai eating. Still.

_**Just the Ramen**__ –_Sakura sighs.

MY RAMEN

MY RAMEN!

OH I LOVE MY RAMEN!

**But now I think he's real sick from the Ramen. –**Sai pokes passed out Naruto with stick.

**  
-----------end------------**

**Thanks guys! –looks at still hugging Gai and Lee- wow. **

**Okay, that wasn't so bad. It could have been worse. And Kakashi is temporarily banned from the page.**

**What was he thinking bringing in the real song!**

**Okay well This Friday we have our first special. Staring –**looks at list- **Sasori, Sakura, Naruto and Gaara!**

**Thanks to that act Earlier from –**Glares at Gai and Lee who are still doing the creepy sunset thing**- **_**Someone**_** –**Glares-

**My band quit, I'm getting a CD to play after these things. **

**But until next time!**

**HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN!**

**JA NE!**

**~ Dreaming!**

(1) the original bunny song, well……think Playboy Bunny.

And sorry I just don't see Sai as a big singer. Think exclamations!


	4. Third act! holiday special

**Dreaming: comes on stage in kitty Halloween costume, picks up megaphone and tones down volume: **

**We have our first holiday special! **

**To celebrate we have an extra long performance from behind the scenes!**

**For the first special we have –**checks list again to make sure-** Gaara, Sasori, and Sakura.**

**For Shadowjettailsclub! **

**- I take suggestions.-**

**Okay lets get going!**

**I'm owed a favor from a few S-class criminals so I'm borrowing a certain puppet master, and Tsunade 'bribed' Gaara. Then Sakura needs Naruto for a mission.**

**AN: starts with scene!**

**KEY**

**Our performers**

**Singing:**

_**Gaara **_

Naruto (K**yu**u**bi**)

_**Sasori**_

___Sakura (__**I**__n__**n**__e__**r S**__a__**k**__u__**r**__a)_

Actions by singers/others

"**Dammit, why us!" **

"**Tsunade needs Naruto and me for a mission. And Sasori, you came as a favor."**

"**Then why am I here?"**

"**Well, Gaara, I believe your brother lost a bet to Tsunade."**

**The door creaked open, bathing the dim room in light. Three heads slowly peaked around the doorway, two red and one pink. Slowly stepping in the way only ninjas could- **

**'ouch! CRASH! BANG! Damn! Get off my foot! Then get your arm out of my eye.'**

**-the group knocked over a table and tripped over a stack of scrolls. The noise that surely woke the neighbors did nothing to alert the occupant that was in the apartment. The apartment was relatively clean, a few artifices of clothes here, a weapon there, an S-class missing nin, the Kazekage/Jailor of the one-tail and then the apprentice of the Legendary Sucker, all sprawled out on the floor. **

"**Are you sure he's even in here?" Sasori muttered, pushing the two teenagers off him.**

"**We checked the Ramen stand." Gaara said standing straight.**

**Sakura dusted herself off from the floor, "He's here alright, I smell Ramen cooking." **

**The three walked past the kitchen, towards the bedroom. Suddenly, the main sound that had been present stopped.**

**Footfalls stepping out of a shower could be heard, along with the rustling of a towel and a happy sigh.**

**The puppet master slouched forward and took ten steps to the general area of the bathroom door. A twitching Sakura and a smirking Gaara followed.**

"**He. Was. In. The. Shower." A certain pinkett growled, sounding more demonic than Gaara's tenant.**

"**Shut it Pinky, I hear something." Sasori said leaning towards the door. **

**Hearing a faint humming, the two teens leaned forward as Sasori smirks…**

**KEY:**

_**Gaara **_

Naruto (K**yu**u**bi**) 

_**Sasori**_

___Sakura (__**I**__n__**n**__e__**r S**__a__**k**__u__**r**__a)_

Actions by singers/others

**This is Halloween– Naruto Remix **

_**Boys and girls of every rank**_

_**Wouldn't you like to see something strange?**_

_**Come with me and you will see**_

_**This, our resident blond.**_

This is Beef Ramen, This is Beef Ramen.

I will tell you only one time. - coming from inside bathroom-

_This is Naruto He's gonna make a scene_

_Sing and Eat. make the neighbors gonna move away_

_**It's your town, I'm gonna scream**_

_**In this town of Konoha**_

I **am** th**e o**ne **hi**di**ng** in **hi**s m**in**d.

**Th**e o**nl**y b**ri**gh**t****c**o**me**s f**ro**m o**ut**si**de**

_**I am debating my job description**_

_**Drinking with Tsunade, it's not worth it**_

_This is annoying! I'__**m**__ g__**o**__n__**n**__a __**s**__l__**u**__g __**h**__i__**m**__!_

Beef Ramen! Beef Ramen! Beef ramen! Beef Ramen!

In this place I call home

Everyone hail to the Ramen king! –still coming from inside bathroom-

_**He's delusional, I'm needed back home  
**_

**In this town, don't we love it now?**

**Waiting for the pasta freaks next outburst.**

Heat that water, Chopsticks on the counter

Hate to wait for the water, takes way to long. –gurgling sounds coming from behind door-

Ramen! This is Beef Ramen!

Hot 'n' good, noodle filled

**Aren't you scared? **-  Sasori looks at twitching Sakura, and slightly disgusted Gaara.

_Well that's just great_

_I said it once, say it twice._

_I would rather take my chances_

_With a drunk and angry Tsunade_

Everybody sing! Everybody Sing!

In the home of Ramen king!

_**I've dealt with the idiots of councils**_

_**The air heads who can't decide anything**_

_**I listen to them day and night.**_

_**They fight like starving rabid dogs.**_

_**It's possibly worse, listening to this.**_

_**Enough to scare the villagers far.**_

**I can't wait to go, this is not worth it.**

Beef Ramen! Beef Ramen! Beef Ramen! Beef Ramen!

I Love it! BEEF RAMEN!

Tender dumplings can't compare

_I __**c**__a__**n**__ d__**o**__ w__**i**__t__**h**__ o__**u**__t __**t**__h__**i**__s __**s**__c__**a**__r__**e**__._ - Sakura outwardly twitches at her inners rhyming. 

**Haven't we done our job?**

**In this town of Konoha**

_**It this room**_

_Don't I hate it now._

_**I am still waiting for the blond's outburst**_

I just might go out for one more Ramen!

And eat until I burst

Have Jiraiya pay my tab.

I'm eating Beef Ramen! Everybody sing!

Can't ya please make ramen cook a little faster!

Oh man, that is freaking big spider! –various thumps and squeals come from door.

Get away from me! Get away FROM ME! –thump.

Get away! Get away! big Spider! BEEF RAMEN!

In this place I call home

Everyone hail to the Ramen……King? –Naruto opens door to bathroom in a towel and

a tooth brush in his mouth.

**  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What are you doing here." Naruto yells and throws his hands up, completely forgetting about the towel. **

"**My eyes!" Sakura turns away, cringing. **

"**Tsunade wants you for a mission." Gaara said with his eyes closed.**

"**No will you stop standing there like an idiot and put some pants on!" Sasori was using his hands to shield his eyes. **

**Naruto looks down and screams.**

**Dreaming keeps eyes closed while fumbling with Megaphone: SEE!**

**I told you it would be scary!**

**CAN I OPEN MY EYES YET! **

**-**_whispers-_

**WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S STILL SCREAMING, SOMEBODY TELL HIM TO PUT SOME PANTS ON!**

**OR CUT OFF THE LIGHTS!**

**-**_Whispers-_

**WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE STAGE MANAGER IS STILL ASLEEP, IT'S BEEN FOUR CHAPTERS!**

**WELL I'M TELLING YOU NOW THAT THE BAND FLED WHEN NARUTO DROPPED THE **

**TOWEL, SO I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET THEM TO COME NEXT CHAPTER. **

**CAN I OPEN MY EYES YET? **

–**fumbles around with eyes closed trying to find light switch and falls off stage-**

**SEE YOU NEXT TIME!**

**Ja Ne! ~Dreaming**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	5. PLEASE READ!

**I'm having problems with the files going into this story.**

**and rewriting Christmas carols really doesnt work**

**so i'm sorry to anounce that untill i can get more songs done or **

**someone sends me something they would like to see.**

**this is complete.**

**~Dreaming**


End file.
